Perspectives

I love my African family. I knew they were very accepting and understanding of our culture and very accommodating for Caroline and I, but I had no idea how great the really were! As a disclaimer I am going to say that I do not mean for this post to be judgmental because I have also been guilty of these things in one form or another.

Monday night, when we had the missions team from Michigan over for dinner at our house, I observed the clashing of two cultures. It was a rare opportunity to see my culture through different eyes, the eyes of my Ugandan family. I am by no means saying that I have any real grasp of this culture after being here for just 3 and a half weeks, but there was a significant difference between my understanding and the MI team's understanding of how to behave and interact in this context.

The team of 8 Americans and two Ugandans spilled out of the van and we welcomed them into our small sitting room. Our family sat in the other room, waiting for us to be done with the food while Msumba, Caroline, and I sat and ate with the missions team and their escorts. Msumba welcomed them all and announced the variety of food that we had prepared for them - Matoke, chicken, fish, Irish potatoes, various sauces, pineapple, and sloppy joes! Upon hearing the words "sloppy joes" the whole team cheered and clapped, and while I was honored, I had to suppress a cringe as they had just unknowingly communicated that they would not have survived eating just the African food. You may think I'm overreacting, but you did not see their expressions as they listened to the list of prepared dishes that were not exclusively American. As the team was getting their food, one member specifically thanked Caroline and I for the sloppy joes as she passed up the matoke, which several team members had not even tried yet. The staple food! She had not even tried it yet and would not take any, even after we assured her that it was better here than anywhere else in town.

Throughout the evening the team mostly talked amongst themselves and to Caroline and I, only engaging in conversation with our Ugandan hosts once or twice. It was strange to hear harsh sarcasm and joking, as this is just not a part of Ugandan culture. Here, people are generally very encouraging and build each other up in conversation. I realized as I observed their interactions just how much I've changed in the short time I've been here in regards to my usual sarcastic humor. Most of the conversations I had with the people sitting next to me during dinner were very negative, and I do not think they would have talked so openly without the other noisy conversations that made it impossible for our hosts to hear them. One man asked me questions about what we normally have for dinner, confident that our family was "putting out the spread" for them but normally starves throughout the week. I proudly defended my family and informed him that we always have more than enough for dinner every night - a lot more than a normal American family would eat for dinner!

He also made comments about varying exchange rates and how Ugandans will do anything to get another dollar out of us Americans. For a brief moment I felt myself wanting to agree with him, until I remembered where I was and what I've experienced here so far. Instead of affirming what he was saying I sat in silence, wondering how anyone could seriously make generalized, negative statements about Ugandans taking advantage of Americans while sitting as an honored guest in the home of an incredible Ugandan family who had spent the past 4 hours preparing the meal he was now ungratefully eating!

The one time they did make an effort to engage in conversation with our parents, they asked a very imposing question for this culture. To Mama Irene, " So, why'd you decide to marry this guy?" The team chuckled at their typical American humor as our mom just politely smiled. The tension in the room was almost visible to me, as after an awkward silence she finally said, "I saw how he served the Lord." Then, with the tone of an adult speaking to a small child, the man said, "That was important to you." There was nothing really wrong with this comment, but the manner in which he spoke to our mom, as if she was somehow intellectually inferior, was incredibly offensive. The unfortunate, but enlightening part of it all - he had no idea he was doing it.

After they had all left, my stomach literally ached as I thought about all the culturally offensive things I have unknowingly done and am still doing! It kills me to know that there are things that I do here without realizing the messages they are communicating. This whole experience came with incredible timing, because it really challenged me to check myself in what I'm doing here. I criticize them for not engaging in the culture and interacting mostly with other Americans, yet I have done nothing but the same. I spend the majority of my time on campus with the other American students, including lunch, but I am now changing that. Also, since I have recently been feeling more comfortable with my family here, I was going to loosen up a little more and be myself. I now realize that "being myself" would only make matters worse because the parts of my "self" that I have been withholding are very American and would not necessarily be received well in this culture. I will instead continue to observe how my family members here interact with each other and incorporate those things into my life.

Our parents never said anything negative about the evening after our guests left, only positive things. I respect Henry and Irene even more now, and Caroline and I expressed great thanks to them later for being so understanding towards us, especially in the first few days when we didn't have a clue how to live and interact in this culture. Our family is incredible!

Prayer requests:
-from 7pm-7am our time, (11-11 EST) our church will be having an ongoing intercessory prayer service as there will be a similar event going on simultaneously among those who practice witchcraft here locally. These people normally meet in more private settings but are now wanting to do things publically so our church here is responding with this all night prayer service. Several of us students will be joining in this prayer service for a few hours and I'm sure this will be an experience unlike any I've had before - I will keep you posted on this!